It’s Been a While…

So, it’s been a while. Like a few years. But, here we are, trying to get back on track and start writing this for real this time!

I guess a good place to start would be to do a whirlwind catch up. In the last 3 years I’ve lived a LOT of life. I’m pretty sure that I posted in the past about what a year 2015 was (if not, let’s just say it sucked. Miscarriage, lots of relatives died – including my dad, I had a high-risk pregnancy and delivered my daughter 3 months early, she had a 3 month Nicu stay). Well, 2018 and part of 2019 looked a lot like 2015, and the second half of 2019 looked a lot like 2004 – except for me… I’m about 40 pounds heavier than in 04 (WTH???). :O

Some of the notable points are our family had a serious health issue (all is well now, thank goodness), two of our pets died one month apart, and we had a major move. We’re back in the north again! People think we’re nuts for that, but look, Dorothy was right. What can I say?

Some things that haven’t changed:

  • I work for the same company I did in the south, which is pretty awesome because it means no commuting in the snow.
  • I still need to lose weight (insert face palm emoji here…). I’m working on that with Caleigh.
  • I still need to get this blog going (insert emoji of a clock here – what the heck have we been waiting for???) – I’m working on that with Dawn.
  • I haven’t gotten to have Thanksgiving dinner or go to the mall with Bret Michaels (insert heart emoji here…) – honestly, that’s such a dream of mine, haha! I’ve met him a few times and he is the nicest human alive. I’m not even sure how he’s a real person. I have to get to hang with him at the mall for an afternoon at least once in my life!
  • I still need to figure out how to make my dream of having a talk show come true – I’m trying to find the solution to that too. That one takes a lot of work. Or maybe I’m overthinking it.

Not starting a talk show definitely bothers me every day that I haven’t done anything about it. I figure 2020 is a good time to figure that out. Wouldn’t it be lovely to get it going before turning 40? Life has been very life-y since 2015, but that can’t be an excuse anymore. People do it and find a way, and I need to do that too. With everything being so accessible these days, there’s really not a reason to not do it. Here’s a cool article I read about it never being too late.

And here’s a meme that I love (and need to live by…) – note that I (obviously) didn’t create this meme, I found it on Google.

Options According to Yoda

It bothers me that SO many people in my life know that about my longtime dream of having a talk show, and I’ve done nothing. I’m not one who cares what others think about me, but it bothers me that I could be perceived as a dreamer rather than a doer. How awful would that be? Do they put that shit on headstones “She dreamt of a talk show.” Ugh.

I was texting with someone earlier today and I wrote “I don’t care if it’s a talk show with an audience, it can be on youtube. I just want to get to a point where I a) do it, and b) can sustain myself doing it. I want that to be my job. I want to be like Caleigh. Cheer is her passion and she has built her gym into something amazing that I’m SO proud of her for. I want to build something amazing and have my family and friends be proud of me for it.” I have a cool corporate job, but getting to make people laugh and figure out why they are how they are is what makes me actually feel fulfilled. I LOVE talking to people and trying to learn about them.

I don’t have the answer, but I’m working on it. By the end of 2020, I need to say that I’ve been working on it and things are *happening.* I have put some videos on youtube, check them out!

Speaking of 2020, I’m not one for resolutions, but hey, for shits and giggles, I’ll put some things that would be nice to do down. Perhaps goals, not resolutions.

  • Get in shape. For real. Once and for all. I don’t want to look at another damn picture and say “wouldn’t it be lovely if I ____.” I want to look at a picture and say “yes, that paid off. I’m so glad that I no longer use the whale emoji in texts to my friends when talking about heading to the pool or beach.”
  • FIGURE OUT HOW TO LIVE MY PASSION. Seriously. Guys, I know this must sound stupid on some level. She wants to talk for a living. I know that sounds nuts, but seriously, it’s what I want to do, it’s what people have done, and I need that to be me so that we’re not having this same conversation again in Jan. 2021. I want to be living my passion so that my family and friends are proud of me and think of me as someone who actually lives their dreams, not just fantasizes.
  • Figure out how to get the sassies (what I call it when my daughter is sassy) and periodic tantrums to go away and have the sweet smile return all the time. I know a smile 100% of the time is nuts too, she’s a kid, not a robot, but dang, I miss seeing that ever-present smile. She is still SO happy, but she’s also sassy sometimes. The other day on the phone with a customer service person, he asked if I had any other questions. I said yes, do you have any tips about toddler temper tantrums? He got a kick out of that, but sadly he had no tips to share.

So, that’s it. Dawn and I are going to make a real effort to keep this blog up, and I will attempt to meet the other goals for 2020.