The Law of Attraction Blows My Mind!

I seriously love and believe in the law of attraction. If you’re not familiar with it, basically it means that whatever you focus on, you will bring about. If you focus on positive things, positive things will happen, and if you focus on negative things, negative things will happen – your attention/focus/beliefs manifest tangibly into your life in one way or another. You can use it for goals, health, career, physical things, etc.

My favorite books about the Law of Attraction are by Rhonda Byrne: The Secret and The Power.

When I focus on things, I can see those things manifest – good or bad. An example of the negative and the positive are in the story of my pregnancy and my daughter’s NICU stay.

I fully believe the law of attraction is why my daughter was born right before 28 weeks. I had 28 weeks so firmly in my head as my goal, that I “willed” that into existence. I didn’t realize I did it, but let me tell you that I focused so hard on getting to 28 weeks that not much else entered my mind at that point.

After a miscarriage at 10 weeks earlier the same year, I remember thinking, ok, I have to get to 12 weeks, that’s when it’s “safe.” Then I remember talking to my doctor about the next milestone – ie when the baby could live outside of me and survive. She said 24 weeks. I said, okay, I have to get to 24 weeks. She said “No! At 24 weeks the odds of survival are 50/50.” I said okay, when does survivability go up. She said “28 weeks, but Stephanie, you need to get to 40 weeks! You don’t want your baby to be that early!”

But, in my head, I didn’t process anything after I heard her say 28 weeks. 28 weeks was my goal. I needed to get to the point in the pregnancy that I was past the point of miscarriage (in theory, that is – obviously you’re never past that point, which is terrifying) – that if something came up, she could be delivered and live. I needed to know that my baby could live.

I fully believe that because all I did was focus on making it to 28 weeks, that’s why she was born at 27/6 weeks. She ended up needing to be delivered because I had severe preeclampsia/borderline HELLP.

I also believe that the law of attraction is why she survived in the NICU. She developed a severe lung condition (P.I.E.) that only 25% of preemies get (and imagine that only 10% of babies are born premature – and that 10% includes all babies under 37 weeks. The number born at her gestation is much lower). She wasn’t doing well. The one doctor told me she didn’t know if she (my daughter) would be going home. She didn’t know if she’d live. She was very sick. The day the doctor said that was the last time I heard any of those words.

At home that night, I developed a mantra that I started to say to my daughter every single time I walked away from her bedside for the rest of her stay – no matter if I was leaving for the evening or just going to the bathroom. I said “Kennedy is strong. Kennedy will be happy, healthy, and home soon.” I also walked into rounds the next day and said, “Okay, new rules. We no longer say the words sick, bad day, struggling, etc. We now say things like ‘she had a busy day. There was a lot going on.'” I wanted to know where things really stood, but also wanted them framed in a more positive or neutral way.

For example, for a 28 weeker to leave the hospital without a blood transfusion is pretty rare. So to me, if she needed a blood transfusion on a particular day wasn’t “bad,” it was actually normal – as in to be expected. And I’ll tell you what, my daughter noticed and reacted positively to our new positive energy. No one was allowed to call her “sick,” or anything else negative, and she thrived.

My point is that I believe that what you focus on is what you manifest, both the positive and negative things. As with anything, I can’t explain why terrible things happen sometimes – there are truly things that I believe can’t be explained by science, religion, or a combination of the two. But overall, I really believe that you can control your destiny.

In lighter applications of the law of attraction, sometimes you bring things into your life by simply “loving” them and believing you’ll have them. Last week I was looking at playsets for my daughter. She is absolutely in love with them and comments every time she sees one.

Around Christmas, we asked two of three sets of grandparents around Christmas if they’d help pitch in for one as an Easter present (but the yard wasn’t ready at that point, so it was on hold).

We didn’t ask the one set of grandparents, I’m not even sure why. But anyway, last week I was researching them, working to find the best one for our needs and yard, and reviewed a few options with my husband. I also asked him if he’d ask his dad and I said I’d ask my mom if they still wanted to pitch in.

The next day he got home from work and said, “You’re never going to believe this. My mom (who is divorced from his dad) called me and said she woke up in the middle of the night last night thinking about swing sets for Kennedy. She said she wants to buy her one.” I couldn’t believe it. As I mentioned, we didn’t ask her at any point, so that randomly just happened. She woke up in the middle of the night thinking about it. How crazy is that???? That is the law of attraction at work!

This is the one we ordered! Hooray!

I also happened to dream some numbers the other night, but didn’t play them, and 3/4 of the numbers hit straight the next day. Ugh! I have no idea how to harness that, but it’s pretty awesome when that happens!

Whether you fully believe in the law of attraction or not, it never hurts to be positive, and focus on the things that you want. It may just work out, and it certainly won’t hurt!

Sharing My Older Posts from Charleston Moms

Photo by Lukas Blazek on Unsplash

Today I was reading a post on the Charleston Mom’s site and the post linked to one of my old posts about working mom guilt, so I figured I’d share it here.

Then I thought, I might as well post a link to all of my posts on the Charleston Moms site! I wrote for them for a few years and wrote about everything from preeclampsia to preemies to not Googling for medical advice to general life! Check it out if you’d like.

The post I linked to for general life above has one of my favorite pictures (my very own Pinterest fail):

my Pinterest fail. For what it’s worth, I’ve since perfected these. 🙂

Charleston Moms has a lot of really great stories everyday, so follow them on Facebook or visit their site.

Kennedy’s the CHS March for Babies Ambassador!

Kennedy’s the 2017 Charleston March for Babies ambassador, and today was the kickoff lunch! It was such a great time to be in the room with the other teams, each full of people ready to help support the March of Dimes mission.

Check out the cool video about her story!

If you’re compelled, we invite you to donate to her team here!

We are soooo thankful that we get to share our lives with our precious girl! She’s a warrior disguised as a sweet, perfect human. 🙂

 

The NICU is hard – Even 9 Months After Discharge!

Holy cow, guys, the NICU is hard! My daughter is doing amazingly well, and turns 1 soon. She is also going to be the March of Dimes ambassador for the Charleston March for Babies in 2017. To help promote the event, there will be a video to share Kennedy’s story.

A few days ago, we shot an interview with one of her doctors in. the. same. room. where she was. That was completely unplanned. We knew we were shooting in one of the NICU nurseries, but had no idea it’d be in her module. We walked in and I just started crying!!! I was staring at the spot where I spent weeks and weeks of my life.

My emotional response caught me totally off guard. As I said, my daughter is doing amazingly well, and I was there for a HAPPY reason! Before we got there I was so excited to see everyone, but once we got there I was a mess (but I was still super excited to see everyone!). That’s the thing about the NICU, you really just don’t know what’s next – even after you’re gone, apparently! If we would’ve been in the location where she was when she had the lung condition, I probably would’ve lost my mind! It’s just so crazy how you don’t think that things will effect you one year later, and particularly when they’re positive things. I guess when things are happening you’re just taking everything one day at a time, and when you’re on the other side of it, it can be overwhelming.

I’m thrilled to be one of the NICU success stories! Kennedy’s story is amazing, and to look back at everything that’s happened over the last year, it’s mind blowing. This little girl went from being 12 weeks early and on a ventilator for a long period of time, to leaving the hospital on her due date and breathing on her own, to being almost one year old and on track with her birth age  – and has been for several months (which her Early Interventionist has said is statistically pretty unheard of). Kennedy’s the strongest person I know – quite literally now, I’ve never seen another baby with actual muscles. I am pretty sure that I need to get in shape before she forms thoughts that she’ll remember because otherwise she’s going to be putting me through some kind of 5am bootcamp to keep up with her!

Back to the NICU to celebrate Kennedy’s birthday, my husband and I made 5 care packages for NICU babies who will be born on her birthday this year. It’s nothing big and it’s nothing super exciting, just a few helpful things and a birthday card for the new baby from our family. But, 1 of the 5 packages had a more significant gift in it – it’ll hopefully go to a baby who is born in her birth hour! I’m hoping to find her closest birthday twin. 🙂 I’d love to chat with her birthday twin’s family and be there to lend an ear when the NICU gets tough or scary. Something about being in that environment changes you forever. For real.

The NICU that she was in is really interesting. There are two main sections, and each section has 2 rows that face each other. On each row, you’ll have about 8 babies (I’m happy that I’m far enough removed that it’s no longer a vivid picture burned into my mind). So you have at least 16 babies in very close quarters. It can be loud. It can be scary. It can be amazing. It can be touching. Because of HIPAA, obviously no one from the hospital can tell you anything about anyone other than your own baby (and let’s face it, you’re so wrapped up in your own concern for your baby that the stress of the rest of the babies would set you over the edge!), but because you’re in super close proximity to the other babies, you sometimes hear words or treatments or can see their isolette and it’s really challenging to not compare.

For example, in our case, there was a baby who was older than Kennedy, born earlier than her, and who was already in the hospital for quite some time when we arrived. This baby was a warrior. She had a tough road, but she was kicking butt, until one day when she suddenly got sick (or had some kind of emergency – again, because of HIPAA, we have no idea what went on.), and went back on a ventilator, had all kinds of other interventions, and from what I gather, didn’t make it (although I don’t know for sure because we were transferred to a different floor). When we were next to that baby (as in, an IV pole and a rocking chair away, literally), it was tough to not worry. We were like, oh my gosh, she was fine, and now she’s back on the ventilator and now she has this and that! What if that happens to our baby???? But, we had to constantly remind ourselves that we didn’t know the story. We had no idea what that baby’s medical concerns were, and that we couldn’t compare. It can definitely be a mind game with yourself.

The NICU is the sweetest and saddest place in the whole world. Miracles happen every single day because of amazing doctors and nurses who dedicate their lives to these newborns, babies who are beyond strong and are doing amazing things well before they should be living in the real world, and of course with the help of some technology. But really, it’s the people – the medical team and the babies who are all special people who do extraordinary things everyday. I think it’s impossible to be in that environment and not leave with at least some positive memory… I guess maybe it does make sense to be emotional. After this last visit, I know that those feelings will be with me forever. I am so thankful that we met everyone we did, and that they all played a part in making sure Kennedy was healthy, happy and got home with us where she belonged. I am also thankful that Kennedy will never remember her days in the hospital, but that she will never know a time when those people (who have now become friends) weren’t in her life.